Operation Bearded Sally*

DFan, one day, comes in to The Penthouse all upset.  No one can figure out why, until KStew comes up with a great idea.

KStew:  (Going over to DFan)  DFan, what's up?

DFan:  Nothing, go away.

KStew:  Can I get you a drink?

AGreen:  DO NOT GIVE HER A DRINK.  SHE'S DISTRESSED.

KStew:  Shut it AGreen, it'll relax her.

RPatz:  Agreed.  I mean seriously, look how chill I am all the time.

DFan:  No, it's cool I don't need a drink.  But maybe a good plan to kill this girl at my school.

AGreen:  KLutz, I told you those video games would have a bad affect on DFan...

KLutz:  Whatever, she knows that it's make believe.  

DFan:  I really do.  But listen guys.  There's this girl at my school.  And she wasn't ever my friend but as soon as she found out that I was in New Moon she started nagging me to get RPatz' autograph.  I told her that I wouldn't do it, so then she starts this rumor about how you all aren't even my friends.  I tried to tell her otherwise, but now everyone except my closest friends think you all are mean to me or something.

JRath:  For real?  I mean did you tell her about all of our fun parties and stuff?  

DFan:  She just won't believe it.  AND she keeps telling everyone that her and RPatz are like besties because she's Team Edward and Edward's biggest fan and my "best friend." 

AGreen:  DFan, I'm sure this is all a misunderstanding.  Can't you just work it out politely with a school counselor or something?

KStew:  AGreen, I'm sure that DFan's school counselors are completely adequate, but dealing with crazies means war.  

TLaut:  YEAH.  Let's give her what she wants.  A convo with RPatz.  And then when she least expects it, well BREAK.  HER.  HEART.

They all go about coming up with a plan, yes, even AGreen came around.  It first involved an e-mail. 

RPatz has recently been sporting a beard, and well DFan was informed by this girl (we'll call her Sally) that she HATES beards.  So a mysterious e-mail arrives in Sally's inbox, with a note saying that if she doesn't quit bugging DFan, RPatz will grow a beard that's longer than Rip Van Winkle's.

She obviously didn't understand the reference, because she wrote back that she thought even RPatz looked hot in a beard.

Damn, they all thought.  So they came up with a better plan.

This plan first involved DFan pretending to befriend Sally (she's an actress, she can handle it) and getting her phone number.  Then this occurred, on the night of the Hope for Haiti Now Telethon.  RPatz was a member, and the rest of the gang was ready to put Operation Bearded Sally into action.  

RPatz:  (Making a phone call)  Sally?  This is RPatz calling from the Hope for Haiti Now Telethon.

Sally:  (Starts screaming upon hearing RPatz)  OMG!! I'm in love with you!!! And Edward!!!

RPatz hangs up.  Sally freaks out, and calls the number back immediately.  Someone else picks up.

TLaut:  Sally.  I seriously don't understand how you could be Team Edward, when Jacob is most definitely the better choice.  This is TLaut by the way.

Sally:  (Whining)  But where did RPatz go?  I wanted to talk to him.

TLaut:  Really?  I thought you wouldn't care because I heard that you and RPatz were, what was it?  "Besties?"

Sally:  Who told you that?

JRath and AGreen:  He heard it through one of us.

Sally:  Who's that?

KStew:  (Choosing her words wisely)  Anyway, Edward is mine.  MINE.

Sally:  (Getting nervous)  Bella?  I mean KStew?!?!?  What's going on?!?

TLaut:  You really thought that we weren't her friends?  How stupid are you? 

KLutz:  You just leave our little DFan alone.  Because we know where you are.  Right now. 

She hung up out of fear.  DFan went to school and the girl didn't bother her again.  She doesn't even plan on going to see Eclipse.  Ever.

*Her name may or may not have been changed. 

Whoops.

As you all may already know, the Eclipse script was leaked online last week. (I am not going to read it. Don't like spoilers.)
Apparently, it was a copy of JRath's script.
So some of our cast mates here wanted to share their views on the situation.

AGreen: Well, it is most unfortunate that the script to our next big hit, Eclipse, was leaked. I told JRath to make sure to put his script in a safe, secure place, but he just didn't listen to me. I even offered to hold on to it for him, but he was positive he could keep it safe. I guess next time he'll listen to me. I don't know how long it is going to take these people to learn that I am always right.


KStew: (hysterical laughter) What a loser.


DFan: I'm not going to tell you where I keep my script hidden. It's a secret.
KLutz: DFan, are you even in Eclipse?
DFan: Yes I'm in Eclipse! I'm freaking Jane! I hung out with you guys on set. Remember?
KLutz: Man, that was you?? Dude, you were freaking creeping me out. I thought you were just some random person on set.


TLaut: Well....that sucks.


RPatz: I was a little worried at first that it was my copy of the script that got out. Then I remembered that I had kept it where I kept my copy of Midnight Sun that SMeyer gave me so I could study up on Edward, so I knew it was safe. Wait.....Midnight Sun was leaked too?? Crap....


KLutz: If people are going to read it, I hope they at least like it. Emmett kicks some serious bu-tay. But really, Emmett always kicks serious bu-tay.


JRath: I have no comment on this matter....

Annnd...someone already made this:

The Post Holiday Lull

After oodles of holiday parties and get togethers and dinners and of course time with the cast, our beloved TLight stars are a little well, pooped. While they are more than excited to get presents and things (see the previous post), they were all content one night to just sit around The Penthouse and watch some television.

Well, unfortunately for most of the members of the cast, it came to be AGreen's turn with the remote. Now normally, AGreen watches HGTV, Food Network, TLC, etc, but she was feeling a little bit sappy, and so she turned to the Lifetime Movie Network. (She really was looking for a good cry - or someway to get KLutz's mind off of video games). As she changed the channel, KStew suddenly remembered something from the other room and got up to leave for a second.

On further investigation, after looking up the info of the current movie, AGreen and the rest of the cast noticed that this movie was a movie with none other than our KStew herself. DFan, being the hip youngster of the group, immediately jumped on KStew's IMDB page. Obviously KStew has done more than one lifetime movie, as the whole cast now was aware.

KStew: (From the other room, on the phone) I can't believe they figured this out!! I never meant for anybody to actually watch those movies...I just needed work! To make money!

TLaut: Wow, KStew, this is some high quality stuff.

KStew: (Coming out of the room) Shut up, TLaut! And turn that crap off!

JRath: So you admit that it's crap.

RPatz: For reals. KStew, you never mentionned these to me. I mean, lifetime, really? Is that good for your rep?

KStew: Oh yeah, RPatz, what about your fantastic movie The Haunted Airman?

DFan naturally jumps on his IMDB page as well.

DFan: This one looks pretty good too, RPatz. I mean WWII and the RAF? Wow...

RPatz: Have you even learned about that in history yet? You can't be past like the revolutionary war.

DFan: Hey now. The American school system may be shit, but we do learn some things.

AGreen: Woah. We don't say those words, DFan.
DFan: I'm not six, AGreen.
AGreen: I know, I know, but those just aren't appropriate words for ladies to be using. KStew, have you been using fowl language around DFan again?

KStew: AGreen...stay out of this. What I say has nothing to do with you.

AGreen: Yes but, oh why are we all fighting like this?

TLaut: Maybe it's because you all bought me t-shirts for Christmas. I. Don't. Wear. Shirt.s

KLutz: Or because I'm not playing video games right now. I mean how else can I get my frustrations out? I'm not into that therapy crap, AGreen, sorry.

AGreen: Oh, well maybe you should be. Maybe we should all try some group therapy.

JRath: Maybe some group beer pong time? Or maybe we should watch these movies? They look promising...kind of...

KStew: I don't know guys. I think that we should let KLutz get his video game time in.

KLutz gets overjoyed by this.

AGreen: But how would that solve the problem of our little spat? I mean we're supposed to like each other.

RPatz: I know how to solve the spat. Let's pick a movie that we can all agree on. I've got a good one: Harry Potter and the Goblet of ...

Everyone else: NO!




On a side note, I apologize for the time between this post and the last one. We had holiday things to attend too! However, we hope that everyone had a joyful holiday season!